By Caitlyn McClure, DSW, LCSW, Vice President of Clinical Services

Loneliness impacts our mental health and presents unique challenges for people struggling with substance use disorders. A person in recovery may sit in a room full of people with a smartphone full of contacts, but the real question is: Who can I rely on?

For people in recovery, loneliness creates a significant threat to their health and sobriety. As they are cut out of key social groups during active addiction—including their friends and families—the feelings of shame and isolation that so often lead to substance use are compounded, increasing the likelihood of relapse. 

In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy dubbed loneliness a public health epidemic, with 30% of Americans between 18 and 34 years old saying they were lonely every day or several times per week. Murthy’s announcement ignited conversations about the so-called “loneliness epidemic,” which has since been written about more than 26,000 times in news media, according to data from MuckRack. Yet, only 4% of those articles also include the word addiction.

Loneliness and connection in recovery

While the last few years have certainly seen an uptick in open-mindedness and honest conversations about mental health, it’s still an uphill battle for those struggling with substance use disorders to be seen and understood. On the whole, addiction is characterized as a symptom of poor character or lack of willpower, which leads people in recovery to hide the reality of their illness from the people around them.

While many people in recovery receive treatment from behavioral health professionals, those relationships are not enough to sustain sobriety. As these individuals struggle with addiction—and the injured personal relationships that often accompany it—they find themselves largely alone at a time when they need meaningful connections the most. 

Every person in recovery requires connections with other people who have struggled with substance use disorders. This helps them get through the tough moments and share their feelings and experiences without judgment. But, people in recovery also need relationships that are not based on recovery itself. These relationships are the family, friends and community members who champion the person in recovery, bringing support, compassion and willingness to hold them accountable to their goals and values.

That said, it’s not easy for people who are newly in recovery to build these relationships or find community. This is where behavioral health professionals can step in to help them process, reframe and move forward with a sustained sobriety that is less threatened by isolation and loneliness. 

Behavioral health professionals can bridge the connection gap for people in recovery

For people who have previously been treated for a substance use disorder, it’s common to seek treatment elsewhere in a relapse event. The reason for this is the pervasive feelings of embarrassment and shame that are endemic to addiction—and that are often unintentionally perpetuated by treatment providers.

Shame puts tremendous weight on people in recovery and creates the perfect storm of isolation that can lead to relapse. Behavior health professionals have a responsibility to avoid shaming behavior. But, they can also look beyond the treatment plan to support clients in their healing.

Address the power imbalance

Humans must work alongside humans in a recovery setting. Clients sense the power imbalance between themselves and the staff at a treatment facility, so it’s imperative that staff have the freedom to be themselves and connect in the way that comes most naturally to them.  

For example, some people connect through humor or common interests. Others simply lend a listening ear free of judgment. Encouraging authenticity in your staff also encourages your clients to feel safe enough to be themselves, and that safety is paramount to developing meaningful connections outside of treatment. 

Embrace imperfection for relational repair

None of us are free from human error, but not everyone is willing to admit their mistakes. As a professional, the ability to admit to a mistake helps people in recovery with their relational repair skills. At some point, you will say the wrong thing, but the follow-up is even more important than the mistake itself: When you, holding the cards, admit fault and apologize, it restores the client’s confidence—not only in you, but in themselves. It models the steps they must take to make amends in their relationships outside of treatment.

Demonstrate humility, curiosity, and accountability

Regardless of how much or how little clients want to share, you should be there to listen. Showing genuine interest in a client allows them to feel seen. Staying calm and present when a client lashes out allows them to feel heard and understood. It’s important to remember that people in recovery are processing deep-seated feelings of isolation and shame. Showing up as a consistent figure during this process replicates the relational consistency they need outside of treatment.

Accountability is also a key skill to demonstrate for clients, despite the term’s misuse in pseudo-therapy speak on social media. Accountability in a behavioral health setting is not about shaming people; instead, it’s about teaching secure accountability. Let’s say a client wants to exercise three times next week. By Wednesday, they haven’t done a workout, so you offer to exercise together to keep them on track. This is an opportunity to reform accountability for the client and help them release feelings of shame instead of compounding them.   

While recovery is an individual journey, it can’t be done alone. When we see clients return to Northern Illinois Recovery Center, we believe it shows the power of the caring of our staff and the sense of community they instill in our clients. People are people, and our similarities are greater than our differences. By bridging the connection gap for our clients, we are setting them up for success when they leave treatment—and even if they come back, they know they will be accepted without judgment. This catalyzes their sobriety, but it also catalyzes their ability to build a full, meaningful and compassionate life.